Somehow a week went by since my consultation. I’ve been one part zombie walking through my days, one part living my best life since then. On one hand, I know I’m about to have to go through some really hard shit and, knowing that, I can’t rationalize not making the time to take my kid on a fun outing or treating myself to a mani/pedi with a side of a margarita. Or even just little things, like taking the time to look for the moon before bed or trying to arrange a plate like it’s being featured in fancy cookbook.
As lovely as that has been, in the middle of these romanticized life-is-a-vacation moments, I’ll find myself often sucked back into a frightening cycle of horror-movie-style flashes of quotes and fears. My imagination runs reels of different scenarios, none I feel comfortable with.
I don’t want to lose part of my body. I don’t want to take drugs that make me feel like I’m 20 years older than I am. I don’t know how to decide which foreign version of my chest I’ll be most comfortable with for the rest of my life. AHHHH!
You guys — bear with me because I promise I’m going to get back to the spoiling part — but please allow me to share a few actual quotes actual people have said to me in the past week. These are the PG ones. Again, in both text and gif format for your horrified pleasure.
Quote number one!
OKAY… Ya’ll… not all doctors have good bedside manner but, this was one of those I didn’t know that was even on the table, madam, moments. Although, to be fair, she did say not.
Quote number TWO!
I don’t even know what else to say about this one.
Quote number Three!
I got sick of the depressing stuff! Let’s go right back to spoiling and figure the rest out later. OOoohhh sweeeet denialll! (Hopefully you sang that last sentence in your head because I sure did). Also, by the way, I did actually Doordash myself completely unnecessary Sephora treats the other day and I regret nothing!!!
Long story short, if I have to start life altering treatment in about a month and a half, simple math tells us that I must cram an entire summer’s worth of fun into a month and a half. So here we go! 😎
Leave a Reply